Basic Rules for Driving in Toronto

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Making the rounds..

  1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver
    never uses them.
  2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you
    and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody
    else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
  3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
    have of getting hit.
  4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects
    it and it will result in you being rear-ended.
  5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
    Ontario is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn’t have
    anything to lose.
  6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
    your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake
    pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch
    your legs.
  7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good
    way to scare people entering the highway.
  8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and
    are apparently not enforceable in Toronto during rush hour.
  9. Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
    move over doesn’t mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams
    behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.
  10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
    someone changing a tire.
  11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of the high-speed
    slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts
    pot-holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on
    their toes.
  12. It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don’t
    move the instant the light turns green.
  13. Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there first
    by whatever means necessary.
  14. In the Toronto area, ‘flipping someone the bird’ is considered a
    polite Toronto salute. This gesture should always be returned.
  15. At least four more cars should proceed on a left after the light
    turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.
  16. The highways can also be used to dispose of any messy garbage that
    may be lying around. These items are better off cluttering the side of
    the road then cluttering your car’s interior where they may distract you
    and cause an accident.
  17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by speeding
    around them on the right, pulling in front of them and slamming on the
    brakes. This works even better when your car is of lesser value.
  18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing through
    Scarborough. Nuff said!

About rae

I'm a long-time Mac and iOS developer. I'm also a big fan of Ruby on Rails and relational databases. I tend to work remotely, in my basement with occasional trips to the office. I'm also a big videophile, both TV and film, and can't wait for a good, inexpensive home 4k solution.

11 comments on “Basic Rules for Driving in Toronto

  1. Vasily

    Beautiful. You also forgot to mention:
    – If you are driving slower than the speed limit, you absolutely must be in the left lane. It is a Toronto by-law for slow-moving traffic to keep left. Especially on the highway. 🙂

  2. Chelsey

    Hi, I am driving to Toronto at the end of November. I am from P.E.I. and haven’t driven past Quebec personally. I am wondering if it is as terrifying as my parents are trying to make it seem, or am I going to be OK?

  3. bharat patel

    i am planning to move in Toronto,please give me brief ideas about rules for car driving in Toronto

  4. rae Post author

    Well, basically avoid rush hour and you should be fine. I guess “rush hour” these days would be 8am-9am and 5pm-6pm.

  5. jeff

    Basically, Toronto drivers do anything they want. If you go slow they’ll just go around you. They follow few rules but generally are not as aggressive as they are interested in getting to whereever they want to be. Of course one problem is the high percentage of ethnic people in the area who are unfamiliar with Canadian standards.

  6. Jeff K

    Welcome, “jeff”. I have more trouble with the retired folks than new Canadians on clear roads. Most of my lost time comes at rush-hour, which is carried out by rather nondescript people in cars and trucks of all persuasions.

    Not too sure what to do about it.

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